Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

First off, I hate 3D, so much so that I watch them in 2D. The problem is, you see the 3D effects even in 2D, and they're obvious and obnoxious. Robert Ebert agrees with me. :)

That aside, oh Megan and Michael... how I wish you two hadn't parted ways. That said, I figured a Victoria Secret runway model would more than fill in for Megan's sex appeal and pouty-ness. Instead, we ended up with a very nice opening shot, a lack of a second female to bring additional sex appeal to the film, flat chemistry between Shia and Rosie, but nothing else otherwise. I understand that Sam might be growing up, but I really enjoyed the sexier side of the first two movies, and felt this one changed the formula too much in this area.

Speaking of Sam growing up, I really think the writers could have done better. I mean, for Transformers 2 they were on a strike! That being said, Sam "[buys] a car, turns out to be an alien robot," then Sam "just wants to be a normal kid," and now Sam "saved [the world] twice and can't talk about it." The undertones seemed to be that Sam just wants to be a part of the alien team N.E.S.T., but for some reason a) can't bring himself to ask or b) isn't allowed to. Instead of addressing that idea head-on, the writers take us through reams of job interviews (John Malcovich is great here), and find a round-about way to get Sam back into the robot war, whilst constantly throwing in our face that Sam's not a robot war soldier. That's the first half of the movie. In the second half, we actually got some robot action on.

Some of the tertiary characters were interesting. I always enjoy John Malcovich, and the Frances McDormand held her own, however some strange stuff happened, like the parents just seemingly falling off the face of the earth once the action started rolling. They sort of did that in 2, but then brought the parents back in.

Last but not least, let's keep in mind that we've been with Sam since he got his first car, almost said the L-word to Megan Fox, went to college, and is now dating a super model and looking for a new job--pardon me if I broke down the 4th wall a little too much there. After all that, why the heck is he still considered a "kid"? It seems a misused term now, a full 4 years after the first movie was released.

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

I keep searching for great kids movies. I'm a big lover of them, and I want stuff to be able to watch with my kids. There's just something in the formula that works for some, and doesn't for others.

Here, Jack Black's voice really threw me off. I know he's this quirky guy with this half smile (or, as I prefer him, the "SPRAWL" guy from The Jackal), and it just felt like there was too much Jack here. As a counter, take Megamind (2010), you know it's Will Ferrel as Megamind, but he pulls it off so well that you entirely forget about who's doing the acting. Maybe that's the competent that this was missing: honest character, and the ability to lose myself in the characters and story.

Cars 2 might be good, but I really wish Pixar would have done an Incredibles 2. :)

Blade Runner (1982) Director's Cut

Well, I watched this movie for two reasons: 1) I had a discussion over the weekend and was lamenting that I'm in a bit of a dry spell, and the person I was speaking to said I would have to dig into classics I haven't seen. 2) I was heralding my success at watching all of 2001: A Space Odyssey over a Facebook chat, and the person I was speaking to recommended this, and said it was better, etc. So I watched it.

WOW... a bit of a let down. I mean, we have have genres that we like, and we all have genres that we hate. I really think this detective genre is something I'm just not into, even mixed with science fiction. I found this movie slow, and I kept thinking "what's the point, again? Oh, right, find the Replicates." And I'd keep coming back to the same thought pattern, it was quite cyclical.

On the positive side, the special effects where great, and I enjoyed the grungy future earth they showed us.

Red Riding Hood (2011)

My 1st failure: anticipating a horror flick.

My 2nd failure: anticipating the typical horror flick formula... you know, half-naked women running around scared of the evil monster.

Instead, we take The Village--a superb film--and Twilight--sparkly vampires???--and we mash them together with a lower budget and a crappy performance from Gary Oldman. Even the love interest was subpar, but hey Amanda looks amazing.

Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)

You take some Gnomes, a bit of pun, an ancient story, some great voice actors, and it'll be just like Toy Story but in a yard?

Well, not quite. But hey, I'll watch all of these damnimations looking for great ones. Bolt, Megamind, older classics like Toy Story? This one is Gnot it.

Buried (2010)

OK, so this guy is buried in a box... wait, that's a different joke.

In this movie, there's a guy buried in a box...

Well anyway, let me make this clear: guy, box, and it's buried under ground.

Anyway, all kidding aside, this is intense. Intense. I rarely hope for reprieve, but in this movie I was praying for it--I was feeling claustrophobic despite the ample comfort of my recliner. Powerful movie, but I'm still not sure if I'd recommend it to you.

Rango (2011)

"It's 'E' motion capture."

That's all I could think of. Johnny did so much talking about 'E' motion capture, that's all I could think of when I was watching this.

I'm more of a Johnny-before-pirates-of-the-caribbean-Depp fan, and Rango incorporated a lot of the drunken swagger of Captain Jack Sparrow swagger. I guess it worked, and a lot of people might find it appealing if they're Pirates fans, but I could have done without it.

Also, as best as I can tell this was billed as a kids movie, yet I didn't think it was quite right for my 3 and 6-year-old. Maybe it's more the 10-14-year-old age bracket. Movie rating industry: maybe we need expanded ratings?

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

I had high hopes for this movie. I'd skimmed some reviews that said Blackhawk Down meets District 13.

Well... yeah, not really. I mean, I can see the comparison, but I think the execution falls short. I just didn't feel deeply involved in the action, and while the dramatic parts were endearing, I could either have done without them or they should have been developed more.

Rio (2011)

OK, can someone call Pixar, and tell them to buy all the other kid's movie houses? Seriously...

OK, OK, I know that won't happen. So listen up: parents (you know, they're like kids, only bigger) take kids to movies or show kids movies. If the parent is not entertained, chances are you won't get their kids to your movie next time! Pixar seems to have this awesome balance of kid-friendly excitement and fun along with adult-oriented humour. Other movies too do this, like Bolt which used generic terms like 'Cat' and 'Dog' in reference to various characters "Hey, listen Cat..." which I thought was great with the interplay of those terms in modern slang (think Randy off American Idol: "Yo! What's up dog?!").

Anyway... see my previous review for meatballs... some of these are just garbage.

The Road (2009)

It was true to the book. The film making definitely gave an accurate portrayal of this post-apocalypse landscape, but otherwise not much else.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2010)

It was all right, but with the caliber of some of the better kids movies out there, I expected more out of this one.

The Tourist (2010)

It was fun, and kept me guessing to the very end.

Monsters (2010)

A good film, especially considering it's budget of $15,000, but the character development felt flat without much else to boost the film.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

Shia and Michael usually provide powerful performances, but were underwhelming here. The story felt very segmented and left me feeling unfulfilled.

Knight and Day (2010)

A fun action flick with some humourous moments.

The Other Guys (2010)

Surprisingly humorous with an exceptional movie soundtrack.